anti recipe: veggie hummus cauliflower pizza – two ways

So many of my anti-recipes start as spins on traditional dishes (like pancakes, mac n’ cheese, fried rice…) – but after I make all my WDG modifications – these recipes take on identities of their own. Hence why I call them anti recipes.

I also call them anti recipes – because you don’t have to follow every ingredient perfectly to make it delicious. I’ll always show substitution options because every body has different wants and needs – and you should never sacrifice what you need for the sake of following a recipe that was made for and by some other body.

My favorite thing to hear about isn’t people making my recipes and enjoying them – but it’s hearing about all the modifications they made to suit their own needs! It not only shows me that “recipes as rules of food creation” are meant to be broken,  but it gives me inspiration for modifications next time.

Check out the recipes below for two ways to make cauliflower pizza. I’ve tried a lot of different cauliflower pizza recipes over the last month – and this ratio is guaranteed to look and feel and taste (legal disclaimer: almost!!!!!) just like real pizza – worst dinner guests and normal dinner guests alike, rejoice!!

Cauliflower Pizza: Super Paleo & Un-Processed’ Edition

Ingredients: 3 cups cauliflower rice, 1/4 cup chia sees, 3/4-1 cup water, 1 1/2 tbs. basil, 1 1/2 tbs. oregano, 1 tsp. salt + pepper

Cauliflower Pizza: Slightly Less Paleo & More Processed, But Can Pick It Up Like Pizza’ Edition

Ingredients: 3 cups cauliflower rice, 2/3 cup chickpea or almond flour*, 1/4 cup chia sees, 3/4-1 cup water, 1 1/2 tbs. basil, 1 1/2 tbs. oregano, 1 tsp. salt + pepper

* Bob’s Red Mill garbanzo bean flour works wonders but you can also easily grind up some raw almonds in a food processor or blender for a coarser, but less processed flour. Anything that’s been hanging out in a plastic bag for months is just not as fresh and good for your bod as something fresh and unrefined or processed by you and eaten immediately. I only use bagged flours on occasion as a special treat because of this, BUT it definitely makes the pizza more pizza-y, so do you

Directions (Both Editions):

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees (F)

2. Chia eggs – mix up chia seeds + water and set aside to “goo up” for 10-15 minutes. Stir occasionally to evenly distribute the seeds

3. Make cauliflower rice – ‘Rice’ up the cauliflower in a food processor, blender (or even a cheese grater). Once the cauliflower is in tiny pieces, you need to squeeze the extra water out of it, unless you want to make stir-fry cauliflower mush tonight. There are a few ways to do this:

(a) Spread the cauliflower out on a baking sheet and blot with a paper towel

(b) Via Deliciously Ella: Put the rice into an almond milk bag or cheese cloth and squeeze all of the water into a bowl – this is WAY faster than option (a), but if you don’t have either of these tools you can still take the “scenic route” to cauliflower rice and blot it yourself

(c) Skip all this and just buy “already riced” cauliflower from Whole Foods or Trader Joe’s – more expensive but a helluva time + mess saver

4. Mix up the cauliflower rice + chia eggs + flour + seasonings. Use your hands to get everything molded together into a weird looking chia-goo batter

5. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper + olive oil. Spread the chia-goo batter onto the baking sheet – and mold into a pizza shape, no more than 1″ thick

6. Cook for 30-40 minutes until the edges and center turn golden brown. Baking time will depend on how thick your pizza is, so check frequently. But don’t take it out before it’s golden all over or your pizza slices will get crumbly, and then everyone will think I’m bluffing about how pizza-y this fake pizza is

7. Top with all the toppings + enjoy!! (Toppings + hummus sauce inspo is below)

Toppings (Both Editions):

Veggies – While the pizza is cooking, roast some thinly sliced peppers + mushrooms + onions on the baking sheet (around the pizza)

Hummus Sauce – Blend 1 can of drained chickpeas + 2 heaping tbs. tahini + 2-4 tbs. olive oil + 2 tbs. cumin + 1 tbs. paprika + salt + pepper (sometimes I add nutritional yeast to make it ‘cheesier’)

When the pizza is golden brown – top with hummus sauce + roasted veggies + kalamata olives and heat for 5 more minutes

And, wallah!! Then holler at me with all the modifications you made in the true spirit of #veganfoodshare – in’


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