anti recipe: black bean, avocado, cilantro & shallot stuff

First and foremost, I am anti-recipe. Recipes require names/labels and imply that following the agreed upon guidelines of the recipe is normal, and diverting from that recipe is not normal (and therefore bad/wrong). For instance, in my corn-but-not-dairy-eating-days, every time I ordered nachos with no cheese, someone always questioned it. Unbeknownst to me, cheese is a necessary condition for nachos, and to diverge from this universal agreement about the requirements for nachos is cause for social outcry. Call me the recipe anarchist, but I believe there is something very limiting and confining about recipes.

Besides, recipes cater to the processed-food masses and recipe names often hide ingredients. Of course, gluten-free brownies aren’t going to taste as good as “regular” brownies, because the recipe for brownies requires flour. You are never going to be satisfied with a brownie made from gluten-free flour, because calling it a brownie in the first place implies that your gluten-free version of the brownie is second rate or diverging from the brownie norm. If we called gluten-free brownies “tasty rice flour, chocolate, egg and oil mushy stuff” and we called “regular” brownies “tasty wheat flour, chocolate, egg and oil mushy stuff,” we’d realize that one doesn’t taste better than the other. They’re just different kinds of treats with different tastes (and then maybe we’d recognize that variety is a good thing for our lives and our bodies).

The final argument of the recipe anarchist is that they’re fucking boring. I like to cook and try new combinations of tastes and ingredients, but I’m just not as satisfied with making gluten-dairy-corn-rice-butter-milk-egg-chocolate-and vegetable oil-free brownies (perhaps because after my special WDG modifications, my plate of brownies is an empty bowl with two tablespoons of water). Cooking AntiRecipes are fun, because you never know how they’ll turn out, so when you make some good shit, you have no one to congratulate but yourself (What now, Betty Crocker?).

AntiRecipe: Black bean, avocado, cilantro & shallot stuff

Ingredients:

— 1 cup black beans

— 1 ‘cado

— cilantro

— tiny pieces of a little bit of shallot

— olive oil for drizzlin’

— salt & peps

Other shit: a bowl, spoon and 5 minutes.

Directions: Rinse it up, cut it up, mix it up, eat it up.

Wallah!

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